


Too much

by copycatgirl



Series: Little Frederick [2]
Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Age Play, Body Image, Cuddling, Gen, Infantilism, Non-Sexual Age Play, Other, Pacifiers, Scars, baths
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-09
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-16 18:37:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2280432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/copycatgirl/pseuds/copycatgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The evening after a play date with Little Will, Little Frederick feels weird and sad about himself and his body. Will just wants to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too much

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hannahdesu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannahdesu/gifts).



Bath time was a happy, calm time, but tonight Frederick did not feel happy or calm. It was the evening following a play date with Will, who he liked a lot. They had played with the plastic food that detached and reattached with Velcro, they had had nap time to classical lullabies, and Frederick was silently pleased to observe that Will still used a pacifier, whilst he himself did not. But Frederick was not pleased now.

He kicked his feet in the water, subtly splashing Will, who did not feel it as an attack, thoroughly absorbed in playing with a boat and a whale. Frederick’s boat. Frederick’s whale. He felt a fizz of jealousy in his chest and hot tears behind his eyes, and he knew it wasn’t about the toys. It wasn’t fair. He felt a strange stirring that made him feel like he was trying to remember something he had long forgotten. Then Daddy rinsed Frederick’s hair, and the suds got in his eyes. He didn’t cry, but the pain distracted him as he was dried and put into his pyjamas. He would be sleeping in his big bed with the safety rail, as usual, and Will would be sleeping in the crib that had used to be Frederick’s. Daddy kissed Frederick’s forehead and tucked him under the covers, and then when he was gone, in the near-dark (Will had to sleep with a small night-light, that glowed softly and changed colours), Frederick’s fingertips found the scar on his own tummy.

Daddy has told him before not to touch it and make himself sad. Daddy said that a bad boy had done the scar to Frederick, but because the bad boy was gone now, the scar showed that Frederick was brave. Usually, Frederick believed him and it was okay. But usually Frederick never saw anybody else’s tummy, not even Daddy’s. Daddy went to bed much later than Frederick, so Frederick never even saw Daddy in his pyjamas. But tonight, at bath time, Frederick had seen Will’s tummy, and it wasn’t like his own.

It wasn’t just the scar, either. Will had a little tummy, flat all the way down, whereas Frederick’s was bigger and rounded out. Looking at Will’s tummy, surrounded by soapy bubbles, Frederick had felt a weird kind of sadness that he wouldn’t have been able to describe if he tried. He felt the scar now, and he didn’t like it. He put two fingers in his mouth and sucked, as he had learnt some bad and scary nights before made his crying quieter. He didn’t want to wake Will or Daddy.

He wanted his tummy to be littler and he didn’t know why. He felt somehow that he knew something he shouldn’t, something grown up and sad. He rubbed the scar and felt the curve of his belly and sniffed. He wanted to be little like Will, to be small and cute so Daddy would love him more and Frederick could entirely depend upon him. He wanted the pacifier and the crib and to be allowed to burst into messy fits of sobs in the middle of dinnertime. He had to take his fingers out of his mouth for a moment to wipe his nose, and then he accidentally made a sobbing noise out loud. He put his fingers back in his mouth at once, but he couldn’t take back the sound. He heard a sleepy, confused noise, and the slight creaking of the crib as Will stirred. Frederick looked over, and by the soft flow of the nightlight he saw Will sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

“Why’ou crying?” Will asked sleepily.

“I’m not,” Frederick said crossly, voice thick with tears, “Go back to sleep.”

“You are,” Will said, “What’s wrong?” When Frederick didn’t answer for a few seconds, he added, “Shall we call for your Daddy?”

“No!” Frederick hissed at once, “I don’t want to bother Daddy.”

“Then tell me what’s made you sad.”

There was another silence, then a click as Will undid the catch on his crib.

“You shouldn’t know how to do that,” Frederick scowled, but Will didn’t reply, sliding down the safety bars and toddling over to Frederick’s bed. He hoisted himself up onto the bed and sat down on the duvet in front of him, his legs crossed.

“I like you,” Will announced suddenly, “You’re fun and nice. You’re good.”

Frederick knew that ‘fun’ and ‘nice’ and ‘good’ were all happy words, but they didn’t make him feel happy. For some reason, they just made him want to scratch his fingernails over his tummy scar. They made him say horrible things.

“You’re just a baby and you’re stupid,” he spat. Will’s big blue eyes looked a bit sad and Frederick hoped he wouldn’t make him cry too. If he cried then Daddy would hear and come to see what was wrong, and then Frederick would get into trouble and maybe get a smacked bottom, and he thought that if that happened he might just cry and cry and never be able to stop.

Then Will did something that Frederick wasn’t expecting at all. He kneeled up, put his arms around Frederick, and gave him a big hug. It was this that made Frederick begin to cry properly, noisy pathetic sobs and snot dribbling from his nose. Will kept cuddling Frederick while he cried, rocking his smaller body back and fourth against Frederick’s.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” Frederick choked. Will pulled back and looked at him.

“I don’t know, being nice feels nice, I guess. And I said already, I like you.”

“I wish I was nice like you,” sniffed Frederick, rubbing his eyes with balled-up fists, “I’m not nice. I’m mean to people and I get too cross and grumpy and I don’t know why. I want to be good but I’m weird.”

“Your Daddy says it’s good to be weird, and my Daddy says its because I’m weird and he’s weird, that that’s why he’s my Daddy now,” Will said.

“But you… you look normal,” Frederick mumbled. He felt so frustrated and embarrassed for not being able to explain it better. Will looked sad and puzzled.

“So do you..?” he said, but Frederick’s heard Will’s intonation so that it sounded like a question.

“No,” he sniffled, “Didn’t… didn’t you see?”

“See what?” Will asked.

“In the bath,” Frederick said, his voice a whisper like he was scared to hear his own words, “I… my tummy is too big, and I have a horrid, horrid cut on it that will never ever go away and I hate it and it isn’t fair.”

He turned over quickly and buried his face in his pillow. He could feel his damp cheeks sticking to the blue cloth of the pillowcase. There was some wiggling around and then Will was lying down next to him, with his pointy little chin propped on Frederick’s shoulder.

“My ears stick out too much and I don’t like them,” he said softly, “And my fingernails are yucky because I bite them too much. And my feet are too big. Your tummy is nice the way it is.”

Frederick harrumphed into the pillow in disagreement with what Will was saying.

“See?” For just a second, they left their space and there was a glimmer of the man as Will said, “It’s hard, Frederick. There are some things we can’t hide from and that take us time to work through.”

Frederick looked at him, and then Will’s eyes were bright and childish again and he cuddled Frederick tight, swaying a little.

“We can snuggle up together until the sad goes away,” Will said. Frederick nodded and then put his thumb in his mouth. Will looked at him thoughtfully for a moment, then got down off the bed to cross back over to the crib. He came back holding something in his palm, which he put down on the bed. It was his pacifier, blue and white with a picture of a puppy on.

“You can have it for tonight,” Will explained, “It’s special, it keeps the bad dreams away.”

“Thank you,” Frederick whispered, and put the teat into his mouth. They got under the covers and cuddled up together, their foreheads just touching. Frederick felt protected as Will’s warmth spread through his own body. It felt strange and nice, for someone smaller than him to be looking after him.

Frederick was briefly aware of Will’s hand resting on the soft curve of Frederick’s tummy, and it didn’t mind it there. He sucked on the pacifier, and his last thought as he drifted off was that he was glad his crying hadn’t brought Daddy. He wanted to be strong for Daddy, and for Will too.

Listening outside the bedroom door, Hannibal smiled to himself. That William would do his special boy some good.

 


End file.
